My Journey May 6

I asked the Dr again to increase the pain meds, or just to give me something for breakthrough pain.

He said, "Older patients don't need as much pain medicine"
Can you even believe this? Does the pain go away just because I am a little older .

About a month ago he said, " You're too young to be in pain like you say you are? Is he crazy, or what?

Of course, I got so P*****that I just wanted to slap him, or cut a hole in his head and pour in some common sense. If only I could. How can he even say such a thing?

I understand why so many pain patients decide to stop living, and can't find it in my heart to blame them. I have thought about stopping living because of the pain. Many times the pain is agony and lasts for days at a time. I will never have a time without pain, I just would like a little help to lower the intensity of the pain a little.

If the Dr could live in my body for a month, he would have so much pain meds that he would be in a coma. That isn't what I want or need, I just NEED a little more help than I am getting.

The only time I have ever had a panic attack is when I go into someone elses house. This aversion or phobia whatever it is has helped to make me isolated and the pain makes it worse.

Now I am planning to go out of state with my grand daughter and stay in her new home. It's so scary for me to even think about this. But she lived in my home for over a year and so I think that may help me. I am committed to try this and do all I can to get over this panic problem. Don't know how it is all going to work out. but I'm going to do my best.

I think that the most important thing we can do is to keep talking about the pain, how it affects our lives. what the Drs say and their attitude towards pain patients.

Keep spreading the word about how our lives are and how we have to try a cope as best we can. So many people on the internet have sent me private messages and told me that because of my speaking out that they now understand pain a little better. My hope is that spreading the word, and I belong to several support groups, is that it will help the entire medical community to understand pain. Not what they read in text books, not what they have been led to believe. But, how it really is to live a life dominated by pain.

The way everything we do or plan has to be based on How The Pain is at the time. Terrible huh?

Someone, somewhere will be helped by our continueing campain of talking about pain. The way we have to live. The agony. The exhaustion.
The being looked donw on. The stupid remarks like "You look fine to Me"
or "all you need is exercise"

We need help, and that help is understanding and DRs that are not afraid to write a prescription that can offer us a little relief.