My Journey Oct 31,09 A LIFE OF PAIN

Doctors, Medicines, Pain, Rest, Isolation, - I am so tired of it all.

Mostly though, I am so tired of trying to convince the Drs that I am in pain and need more help. Three of my Doctors agree that I am not getting enough or probably even the wrong kinds of pain meds, but the Dr that has to write the prescriptions won't listen to the other ones.

Changing Drs here in North Carolina is not really an option, it nearly impossible to change Drs when you are on Medicare or Medicaid here. And you need one Dr to release you before you can even try to see another. And you need referrals for everything. I think people should be able to change Drs when the one they are seeing is not providing the care that one needs. Especially when that one has been contacted by other Drs in the hopes of helping.

Now with the bone infection in the front of my mouth, it took me almost two weeks to find a dentist that would even see me, this after explaining to many Dentists how the infection was in im mouth. My GP has had me on antibiotics for two weeks trying to help. And the Dentist said, "You need an oral surgeon---but the oral surgeon says--"You need a referral from a Dentist that our office knows" But since you are one medicaid-we can't see you--Good Luck"

This is outrageous, I just hope I don't lose all my front teeth before I finally get some kink of help. Finally found a dentist who is willing to see me. Hope he can help me. What at terrible system. Because of having so much trouble trying to get help I may loose all my front teeth. The teeth are fine, but the infection is in the bone.

This may not be soo important, but to me, I hate the thought of losing healthy teeth just because I can't find help. Added to this my other conditions, RSD, RA, Fibro, Neuropathy and several other conditions that all cause pain, and I am really worried.

Sometimes the pain is so bad that I can't even stand, and yet, at other times I can walk, So it's hard to try to explain that just because I was able to do something yesterday doesn't mean that I can do the same thing today. People, especially family don't believe that this is the truth and the way it is. They think because yesterday I could stand and was dishes that I can do the same thing today and this is not always so. The pain level varies.

Then I tried to get off the muscle relaxers-I didn't think they were helping me much. But after 5 days my muscles were so knotted up that I couldn't straighten out my legs or arms and my back wouldn't let me get out of bed. So I had to go back on, starting with double doses for five days and then back on regular does. I do try to find out which meds I can do without and which ones I can't. So it goes, and I learn as I go.

Now my credit cards are all over the top and I can't pay any of them. I have been using them for the daily bills and there has to be an end to that. Being disabled, means getting the least amount of money to live on. Wish there were something I could do different but don't know what that could be.

My Journey Oct 16, 09 A LIFE OF PAIN I SAW HIM AGAIN RIGHT OUTSIDE

Today when I went out to the mailbox, the man who tried to rob me was walking a small dog, He was right in front of me, so I said, "Hi, how are you today?" Which is what we say, in this area to strangeres.

I recognized him and I know he knew me as the crazy lady who ran him off a few weeks ago. NOw I'm wondering if he has the nerve to come back. Hope not,

But, if he does, the gun will be loaded this time. Rather scary to have to meet him face to face in the daytime.

I'll be really pissed if he comes back, if he dares, I'll be ready for him. Not to call the cops, untill after I deal with him.
LinLin

A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS PASS IT ON

My Journey Oct. 4 A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS
Made a early outing, shopping for groceries, I also picked up a cute top. It cost $18.00 and I had just enough to buy it.
An very elderly lady was in line in from of me, she had bought just a few things, and was trying to count her change, she started crying and said, "I'm so sorry"
I told her, "Don't be sorry, you are the most important person in this line right now"
She didn't have enough money , she lacked about a dollar and was going to put her food back, NO, I have been hungry before and know what it's like.
I bent down and snuck a 5 out of my money, touched her on the shoulder and said, "Ma'am, you dropped this." She was crying even more and I almost cried myself. But she took the bill and smiled and said ,"Thank you" with such dignity.
Then I had to ask the teller to check my top for price, I asked the teller if I could put back the top, as I had changed my mind.
All those idiots behind me in line who were making comments like they did should be ashamed and I hope that I shamed them. Two of the people right behind me saw what I did and then they had no more bad things to say.
A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS- LET'S PASS IT ON.
It could be just a smile, holding a door for someone, or just saying Hi to someone.

My Journey Oct. 4 A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS

Made a early outing, shopping for groceries, I also picked up a cute top. It cost $18.00 and I had just enough to buy it.

An very elderly lady was in line in from of me, she had bought just a few things, and was trying to count her change, she started crying and said, "I'm so sorry"

I told her, "Don't be sorry, you are the most important person in this line right now"

She didn't have enough money , she lacked about a dollar and was going to put her food back, NO, I have been hungry before and know what it's like.

I bent down and snuck a 5 out of my money, touched her on the shoulder and said, "Ma'am, you dropped this." She was crying even more and I almost cried myself. But she took the bill and smiled and said ,"Thank you" with such dignity.

Then I had to ask the teller to check my top for price, I asked the teller if I could put back the top, as I had changed my mind.

All those idiots behind me in line who were making comments like they did should be ashamed and I hope that I shamed them. Two of the people right behind me saw what I did and then they had no more bad things to say.

A RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS- LET'S PASS IT ON.

It could be just a smile, holding a door for someone, or just saying Hi to someone.